


You cannot fix life with a First Aid Box.

by Silenceofsongs



Category: Doctor Who RPF
Genre: AU, Badass Matt, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-11
Updated: 2015-06-23
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:23:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 19,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2120088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silenceofsongs/pseuds/Silenceofsongs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When i was a kid, I hid my heart under the bed, because my mother said:</p>
<p>"If you're not careful, someday someones going to break it."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Effort is the siamese twin of success.

**Author's Note:**

> Summary by Shane Koyczan.

Matt sits up, bottles crackling around him as he does so. He scratches the back of his head and sighs, running the hand violently over his face and feeling the thick stubble that has grown there in the last month, locked in this dark, dismal room, shutting the door to the outside world, wading in his own misery. He'd learnt the hard way that life never went to plan and now, he doesn't want life. Doesn't want to feel it, be it, live in it. So he drinks away his sorrows, feel the liquid burn down his throat for the first time that day. He'd fallen into a coma of his life, it wrapping around him and refusing to let go. His chest aches, his mind screams and his family worries. Stepping up and kicking the sea of bottles around him he enters to his kitchen, there too are only bottles, lying faintly around him. Opening the fridge he finds it empty. Opening the pantry he finds that empty too. He searches everywhere his shallow mind can think of. But his conclusion ends with him smashing the dead bodies of cans at the wall, hearing them crumple and screech in protest as they slide on the floor.

He trudges to the couch, shoving his shirt on and pulling his hoodie on. Throwing the hood up and placing sunglasses on his head he opens the door, clicking the Army amount of locks and chains before flinging open the door. He walks out, blinking harshly at the sun, hissing curses under his breath as he slams the door shut. He walks past the amount of flats, huffing at the people who dare to say hello and grinning wickedly at the people who don't. He staggers down the stairs until he's finally on still ground, the world is still as ugly as he remembers. People still insist on saying 'hello' to him and they still wither away when he walks by.

Life hadn't always been this way to Matthew Smith. He chose this. He was the only one to blame. He had A*'s in more subjects than he thought were possible, he had a loving family, used to have a girlfriend he loved. But then he lost his sister. The thing that made the world shine to him was gone, leaving everything gloomy in his short vision. He was there when she died, clung to her hand as his heart bent as it was hit in impact then lost with hers. He'd left home, with nothing but a £100s in his pocket and a motorbike. That was 6 months ago, the world was still as bleak as he remembered. And he had no intention of updating that memory. He'd found a few mates, Kaz and Arthur, they lend him a hand every now and again, give him some money but then they are off, travellers. They at the moment were the only people he could stand to see. So walking into town to get more booze felt like being in prison, caged in around himself. Luckily the shop wasn't to far away and the beer was right in the entrance, the routine was quickly over as he paid, walked out and was back on his way home. 

A yell, not even that, a whimper caught his ear. He shoved it off at first but the woman kept sobbing. The voice drawing closer as he walked into the alleyway. There stood a woman, pressed firmly against the wall, face grimace as she steered it off to the side with her eyes shut tight. She looked exhausted, her struggles were weak as the man leant all his weight on her. She sobbed silently, tears falling but no sound came out as the man slapped her across the face once again, she set her jaw, not letting the bastard see her cry.

"Cheer up, darlin'. It's what you get for wearin' skirts like 'hat!" He slurred, the man must have been in his 50's drunk out of his mind and smelling like cheap whiskey.

The woman let out a soft cry, only to receive another slap to, quickly getting her hands chained to the wall in the vice grip. Matt watched, heart in his mouth and brain slowly focusing in his dim state. "Oi! Prick! Get your grimy hands off 'er!" He yelled, the words leaving and returning with his brains.

The man turned, grumbling as he ignored Matt, hiking up the woman's skirt as she struggled once again. That was it, Matt's nose flared as he stormed on the man, bringing his fist up and slamming it straight into the mans cheek. Shaking off his hand a moment later he was caught by the eyes of the woman. God she was beautiful. Even in the state of shock she was beautiful. Her eyes, neither blue nor green shone, her hair was like a mane, curling out onto her shoulders. All he wanted to do was pull her into a hug, tell her she was okay and bury his hands in that hair. But of course, he knew better. Opting for the simple.

"Are you okay?"

She took a moment to reply, stepping away from the man who previously had her pinned and flung herself into his arms. "Thank you, god i'm so grateful." She spurted out, voice like velvet to his ears. She stepped back a moment later, tugging at her skirt and quickly buttoning up her blouse. "Sorry, crying woman in your arms." She cringed, hands now wringing together before she grabbed her bag. "I must owe you something." She muttered, looking through the small purse.

"Your name." Matt answered, putting a hand around her arm as he steered her away, he may have a good swing but he didn't know how long it would take for the arsehole to wake up again.

She stared at him for a moment longer, walking back to the street. "Alex." She muttered.

A smile crept on his face, it fit her. He ducked his head in thanks, picking up his bags but as he did so and returned up she wasn't there. Matt frowned, looking around to try and see the mass of curls bobbing down the street but he saw none. Sighing softly to himself he pulled down his glasses, the world once again desolate. He walked home in a grudge, he'd saved Alex and in return he'd been ditched. It proved to him the world hadn't changed at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a gangster Matt.
> 
> Updates will be weekly
> 
> Sorry for putting so many fictions out there, will try to rein myself in.
> 
> Comments are always loved<3


	2. Blame it on me.

The second she walked in the door she knew the routine. Like clockwork she toed of her shoes, wiggling her toes against the floor and starting down the hall in search for the only thing that made her smile. But her hands were caught half way through the action, held in a vice grip she couldn't escape. Ralph was in her face in no time, breath harsh and fast against her ear as his chest pushed the air from her lungs, pinning her to the wall.

"Don't you fucking dare walk away from me, _Alex_." The growl came. "You're an hour late. You smell like crap and some arsehole." He spat at her, turning her slightly so they were face to face, a slow, stomach churning smile crept on his features. "Something you want to tell me, my little whore?"

Alex closed her eyes, hoping all of this would go away but the sting on her cheek was much worse than the pinch of a dream.

"Answer me." The voice made her wither away, sob out a plea.

"I'm sorry, i-i got caught up. I'll make it up to you." She whimpered, kissing his cheek painfully only to have her cheek grasped roughly and shoved to his mouth. She didn't fight, she knew better than that. She relaxed the best she could, opening her mouth to his rough, bleeding kiss.

"You'd better. Now." He demanded, slapping her arse harshly and pushing her down the hall.

Alex jumped away, not giving him the pleasure of crying in shock. She stumbled slightly, turning to protest but he only grabbed her wrists again, holding them so intensely she almost thought the blood was caught off.

"Not now. Later. Let me go say hi to Evie first." She begged, eyes wide in hope. Ralph growled, a deep throaty sound that sent unwelcome shivers down her spine. His grasp loosened, dropping her hands and pulling her into another biting kiss.

"She's asleep." He huffed, eyes set on hers. "So _now_ , Lexie." He swatted her away, half pushing her up the stairs. She was jabbed on the bed, his weight secure on top of her as he stripped her of her clothes. His idea of foreplay was rough pinches and bruising touches making her bite the inside of her cheek and groan unpleasantly. She did the best she could, moaning on queue and stroking his back as she closed her eyes, wishing it all to be over.

She lay in his protective arms until he fell asleep before slowly sliding out, grimacing at the pain between her legs she forged her way down the hall, grabbing a jumper and joggers before coming across a purple door, all recent worries passing away. She smiled, a true one this time, not the one she plastered on for Ralph. Opening the door silently she crept in, finding her daughter in the mass of pillows, curled around a large dinosaur toy and snoring softly. Alex smiled slowly at the scene, love rising in her chest as her daughter sniffled in her sleep. She knew better than to touch the sleeping girl but for the day she had Alex needed to know this wasn't a dream. Her little miracle was truly here.

Running warm fingers over the girls face she slowly guided back the curly locks.

"Mum?" The small whisper caught Alex by surprise.

"Shhh, baby girl. It's okay, go back to sleep." She hushed, pressing a soft kiss to her daughter's forehead.

"Read me a story?" The girl muttered sleepily, words slurring slightly. "Please?"

The corner of Alex's mouth curled as she reached over to pick out the girls favourite book. "Dinosaurs love underpants."

"Ready?"

The girl shook her head, shuffling over a bit as she patted the space with her tiny palm.

Alex smiled, climbing into the small bed, feet sticking out the end as her daughter curled into her mothers warmth.

"Now, please?" The girl pleaded, face lost in Alex's jumper.

So she did, rawring differently at every dinosaur and miming out the actions, the girl giggling sleepily as her mother proceeded with every voice. The end came sooner than Alex wanted, her daughter loosing track of the book as sleep claimed her little body.

"Mum?"

"Yes, sweetheart?" Alex answered, smoothing small circles on the girl's back.

"The boys were making fun of me at school..." She started, eyes suddenly open and awake at she plucked at the jumper.

"Why? Did you tell the teachers? They didn't hurt you did they?" Alex frowned, arms subconsciously tightening around the girl.

"No....it's just because...Because...i'm different, mum." A small wobble in the girls chin made Alex's heart wrench. "They made fun of my hand....i told the teacher but...it didn't see them do anything." Waving her arms in explanation and then flopping back to the bed, looking more like a teenager than a 5 year old.

Alex sighed, this was a conversation they'd had many times before, every time felt more painful than the last. Evie was born with one normal, fully functional hand but as for the other, it didn't work so well. From looking at the girl you couldn't tell but when it came to working Evie couldn't open or close her fingers without help from the other, she couldn't exactly play like the other kids and it made making friends a little harder. Alex hadn't really thought the kids would mind but upon hearing the things they said, she'd concluded they were bitchier than most adults.

Alex looked down at the girl, tucking two fingers under her chin and tipped her face up. "You. Little Miss. Are amazing as you are. You're my beautiful little girl and this hand." She took the girls left hand, twining it with her own and kissing the back of her daughters hand softly. "Is beautiful too, just like the rest of you." She stopped, cupping Evie's cheek. "You tell those boys, you tell them that your old mum will sort them out next time." She winked, whispering the last part.

Evie giggled, the sound warming and relieving. "Okay." It was a simple answer, apparently that was enough for Evie because a moment later, soft snores filled the room. Leaving Alex to kiss her daughter's forehead and tuck the sheets more firmly around her, bidding the sleeping child a goodnight before curling into her own bed, thankfully Ralph had rolled over, leaving Alex alone and blissful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have zero self-control....
> 
> So here's the next chapter, may seem a little bumpy but it plays a rather big roll in this story :)
> 
> They will get longer in following chapters<3
> 
> Comments are always, always loved<3


	3. Every story is a treasure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No self control here. This was meant to be uploaded next monday. Yeahhh, anywho hope you enjoy, dearests :) 
> 
> Comments always loved<3

Matt is curled up like a fist on his sofa, refusing to acknowledge his two friends trying to pry him free from his nightmares. He bats them off, growls at them like an old lion being taunted at the circus. This moment for the two friends is trying to get the grumpy sod off the sofa for once because he's starting to look like the thing. But he refuses, refuses their help and refuses their friendship but neither give up. Karen and Arthur know how he feels, they _were_ once him, someone who needed a hand to grasp, a hand they didn't even know they needed. So they try and will keep trying until finally the sod gets up. Matt appreciates it, really he does but right now he needs to be left, needs to drown in whatever he can and never emerge.

Karen is one of those friends who's straight down the line, takes no shit but is as mad as you've ever seen it. Just looking at her, you can tell she's all show and tell. Long limbed, ginger with that spark in her eye that tells you she's crazy. Matt has come to guess that, that crazy is smothering something deadly, that she needs to be crazy to keep herself happy because whatever it's covering is far far worse. She's like a sister, something Matt never thought he wanted again but truly he starves for it. It's what makes the pair together so unique.

Arthur on the other hand is more like your typical granddad. Grumpy, wears odd jumpers and tells rubbishly funny jokes. He's an odd one, but full of magic. Quite literally, he'll hit you with a fact you'd never pin him at then out of his rabbit jumper comes another nick nack that makes you gasp. Like how he can hold his drink so well it makes you wonder how he's still standing. This scrawny boy who looks like he still lives with his mum can actually stand his corner well, trust him, Matt's got the scar on his knuckle to prove it.

"Get up, you fucking lard arse." Karen grunts, tugging on his hoodie hard enough to ring his neck.

Another growl is her answer as he swings at her blindly, tugging the hood further down his face.

Arthur takes the next move, opening all the blinds in this tiny apartment and kicking his feet around to make the clatter of bottles ring in Matt's ears. Matt groans and for a moment Arthur thinks he might be crying. But finally Matt arises, like a zombie you wish you never saw. Beard clouding around his chin, eyes deep set in a sea of black under his eyes.

"Bloody Mary." Karen swears, face wrinkled in disgust of her friend.

"Bugger off, would you!" He roars, storming on wobbly legs into the kitchen. It's like watching a clown trying to tightrope.

Arthur and Karen don't even flinch, looking at each other and rolling their eyes in unison.

"No, we won't. **We** , my friend are taking you to the pub." Karen grins, pouncing on him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder, ignoring the grunt he gives. "Imagine, fresh air, people, music, _ahhhh_ what a dream." She mocks, waving her arms as she draws out the scene.

Matt looks at her blankly, obviously not amused but Karen doesn't give up, beaming at him. "Oh mister grumpy face." She squishes his cheeks slightly, laughing full heartedly as Matt nudges her rather roughly in the hip.

"You need a shower, mate. Brush your goddamn teeth and put some clothes on. Real ones." Arthur deadpanned.

Matt shakes his head, picking a beer from the fridge and going to open it when it's plucked from his hands.

"Now, go. You _can_ shower on your own, right? Because mate i 'aint into that kinda thing." Arthur grimaces, chucking the beer back into the fridge.

Matt chuckles, waving his friends off as he stumbles down the hall to the shower.

Behind their backs, the two high five before leaning into each other. They laugh as Matt seems to drop something then fall, clatter after clatter. About 20 minutes pass before he emerges into the lounge once more, to find it cleaned and looking a little fresher. He can't say it smells fresher though. Dressed in a white tank top, boot cut jeans and lace boots. He looks more human, not completely but more.

"There, see wasn't so bad then?" Karen asks, linking her arm though Matt's.

Matt grunts his answer but she can see the relieved smile he has curling on his mouth.

They finally leave the flat at around 5, walking down to the nearest pub and sitting in the corner, a secluded spot the three had become rather fond of. Arthur offers to pay for drinks, going to stand up when Matt swats at him, protesting and going about it himself. He knows what they drink, it never changes, just like them. He's half way there when someone nearly knocks him over.

"Oi! Watch where you're going, prick!" He yells, shoulders already tense.

The man turns, raising an eyebrow and eyeing Matt curiously. "Oh yeah? Maybe you should look where you're going, _arsehole_." The man spits back calmly, squaring his shoulders to face Matt.

"What did you call me?" Matt questions, eyes burning into the man, taunting his competitor as he leans in.

"Arse-hole." The blonde stabs back. Matt's not in the mood, he's picked the wrong guy at the wrong time and he swings. Before he's even aware of it, there's blood on his fist as the man stumbles on the floor, nose bleeding and jaw cracked.

Karen and Arthur have his arms back in a second, knowing that Matt doesn't give up on the first swing, they fight to control him. But in the next moment Matt doesn't seem to be the problem, the blonde scrambles to his feet, diving in as if to retaliate before a small hand wraps around his arm and cools down his temperamant in a second.

"Ralph. Stop, he's not worth it." Her voice shakes but her stature is strong, second hand coming down the line of the mans back soothingly. The guy looks back at her, shoving her off roughly and storming away.

The fire clouding Matt's eyes calms down, he relaxes, friends letting go as he shakes his head, running a hand over the shaved scalp. "Thank you." He mutters, not looking up the woman.

"Your welcome." She mutters back. Only then does he realise. It's her. That voice...God, four months ago, it's her.

So he looks up. Breath leaving as he meets the radiant face. Those curls. Those eyes and god she looks even more beautiful than before.

" _Alex_..." The name is barely there, a whisper lost in the crowd that had formed around them.

"Thank you." She whimpers, looking shaken, like a mouse she runs away, skirting through the crowd in search of the prick he'd just punched. He steps forward, as if to go after her but all that really follows are his eyes, breath lost until the curls disappear out the door.

"Matt. Matt? Matt? Matt!"

He jumps slightly, back into the real world where Karen is giving him the look. Like he's a kid just been caught watching porn. Blushing as he ducks his head just the same he grumbles back to the table. Arthur returning with drinks and a snack.

"What the fuck got into you?!" Karen scorns, whacking the back of his head.

"Ow! He started it!" Rubbing the back of his head, lips in a thin line as he studies the table.

"God, how old are you?! I don't care who bloody well started it, grow some balls, Matthew." She shrieked, taking a long sip of her drink, snuggling into Arthur and away from a now sulking Matt.

After a moment he tunes out Karen's wails, head clouded with curls and curves. She didn't have to say anything just then, her body and eyes spoke volumes. Volumes he was sure only they could hear. She was beautiful, how had he forgotten. But even through the tough shell she wrapped herself in that moment, she had a vunerability leaking through the cracks. She'd whispered a thank you before she left. Why? He did nothing but show her how much of an arse he was, all tattoos and show, he'd left her man in pain she would probably have to look after. Why was she thanking him?

He didn't know, but something ate inside him that he should find out. Maybe he will. Maybe.


	4. My hidden treasure chest

She'd thanked him. Why? Honestly she couldn't exactly put her finger on it. But she was thankful. Thankful for him punching Ralph hard enough the man actually broke his nose. It added more disgust to the already sickening face. It added a smile to Alex's face because now she could wake up and see the small lump and laugh to herself that her husband, wasn't all as mighty as he protested himself to be. She was thankful because for the second time, he'd saved her. Whoever he was. Had saved her from dragging a drunk, forceful Ralph back home. Saved her the internal fight.

He remembered her name, his eyes shone with ferocity she'd never seen anyone else possess. The incident in the alleyway was a whole four months ago and to be honest, she'd almost forgotton the day. Worse things had happened in between. But she couldn't have been more thankful to him that day. She hasn't a clue how he was there that day but he was. Like a superhero. A superhero without a cloak, the ones she had taught Evie were the best kind of superhero's.

A large weight on her back run her short of her thoughts.

"Ughh, what is this lump on me?" Alex groaned, reaching around to tickle the sides of the now giggling lump. "It speaks!" Alex gasped, tickling the girl further until she was sure she could hear the girl hiccup for breath. Scooping Evie up and holding her close in her arms Alex attacked her daughter with kisses.

"Mum! Ewww! Mum! Please, stop, stop, eww, mum!" The girl squealed in delight, squirming uncontrollably in her mothers arms as Alex continued, taking no mercy.

"What's the magic word?" Alex grumbled against the girls neck, hands ready to tickle her once more.

"Mum's the best!" The girl spluttered quickly.

Alex laughed, finally sceizing her actions, placing one last kiss to her daughters nose before sitting upright.

Loud foot steps filled the air, getting closer and heavier until Ralph appeared, case in hand and suit undone.

"What is all that racket?" He grumbled playfully, dropping his case as Evie popped up to run to him.

"Daddy!" She grinned, giggling with glee as her father picked her up and swung her around before hugging her close, the girls face hidden in his neck.

"How is my little monster?" He chuckled, poking her ribs playfully.

"I'm not a monster!" Evie pouted, hands on her hips as she narrowed her eyes at her father.

"No? Well what's those green horns doing on your head?" He gasped, pointing to her forehead.

Evie's face dropped, eyes wide as she slowly raised a hand to her forehead, soft fingers probing the area. Ralph laughed greatly when the girl thumped him hard on the shoulder.

Alex couldn't help but watch on with a sad smile, haunting thoughts clouding her mind. But she brushed them off, standing to clear empty mugs and go fix dinner.

An arm wrapped around her waist, twirling her around and pulling her flush against Ralph, other arm full of their daughter.

"And how are you, wife? Was she a monster?" He asked, to sweet to be true.

Alex almost wanted to vomit with the smile she had to plaster on her face. He reeked of cheap, far to sweet perfume and sex. She composed herself, reaching up to tuck her daughter's hair behind her ear and press a kiss to Ralph's cheek, knowing if she didn't there would be worse tonight.

"She's always a monster." Alex answered, sticking her tongue out playfully to the girl, masterfully dodging the first question as she slipped from his grasp to continue down to the kitchen, ignoring the way his eyes burnt through her skin and made her heart go cold.

* * *

 

Since that night Matt seemed to get out more and for that Arthur and Karen stuck around a lot longer. They spent weekends in the same pub, in the same seats with the same drinks. But every conversations was more wild and more adventurous than the last, drawing Matt a little further out of his bubble of misery each time. He found himself laughing a lot more, the glare in his eyes being smoothed clean as they were replaced with a softer side. He stopped grunting his answers and started charming them instead.

But Matt was still Matt. He still got in fights. Stood his corner no matter what. Took no shit and gave no shit. Today was one of those days.

He'd been on his way home, walked alone as the other two had been to busy almost chomping eachothers faces off to care where Matt went. But night fell fast and heavy as he went his way. It all seemed silent until he rounded that corner. The one corner that was always empty and of course it was typical for it to be busy when all he really wanted to do was curl into bed and sleep.

Matt tried his best to walk unseen but the second one of the three men coughed he knew his cover had been blown. Sighing, Matt cracked his neck, hands out of his pockets as he stared down the laughing men in front of him.

"Good evenin', Sunshine. Mummy let you out a bit late, eh?" The burly man laughed, followed by the chorus of his friends. Matt wasn't sure if it was the thick London accent that made his anger snap or the comment itself. Either or Matt laughed mockingly, locking his jaw in place as he nodded his head slightly.

"And isn't it a bit early for Grampa to be awake?" Matt cocked an eyebrow at the man, taking deep pleasure in the way the Londoner was taken back in shock.

"Ohhh, son's got cheek." The smaller man behind laughed, nudging the burly man slightly.

"Agreed. Gotta change that." Muscles showing as his fists clenched and he took a step forward, the London man towered over Matt. But Matt's eye was caught, he dismissed the threat as his eyes narrowed on a figure leant against the wall, shoulder's shaking ever so slightly.

"OI!" Was bellowed at him, a sharp hand contrasting with his shoulder. Matt rolled his eyes, straightening his shoulders slightly, setting his jaw just so his teeth ground together before his fist collided with the man's lower jaw, knocking him clean off his feet.

"Shut up." Matt grumbled, stepping over the body, ignoring the ache in his fist as he walked over to the figure. " _Alex?...._ " was whispered just as softly as his eyes were as he melted to the scene, the curls haloing around the woman's head made it impossible for him to dismiss.

The lady jumped away, like a frightened rabbit she clutched a hand to the material just above her heart as the other flew to her mouth. Just in the second before she turned Matt could clearly see tears running fluidly down her cheek, more tears being kept in her eyes. Eyes that looked so barren and lost he almost thought they were dead. But he'd seen them so alive twice before that he could see the small spark that was deep within them. Her mouth was painted a deep red, smudged slightly, black skirt and white top, fitting close to her body that Matt could make out perfect curves, smoothing into her golden legs. She looked beautiful in her dismay. Mind racing to places they shouldn't he couldn't help but think how he'd like to see her - beautiful as ever but without the dismay- one day.

"Who the hell are you?" She gritted out, wiping at her cheeks, back still facing Matt.

He could see right though the act. An act that made him want to cry for her, her voice spoke on so many levels he didn't know how it was possible, how the flat tone made her stand as tall and strong as a wall but the subtle lining held sorrow and.....fear.

"Apparently the man who finds you on the worst circumstances ." He muttered, waiting patiently to see that glorious face once more.

As if she heard his silently plea she turned, hand on her hip as she looked at him unwillingly. "Yeah, how lucky you are." She chuckled sadly.

'Always lucky to see that face' _Easy there tiger_.

He chuckled lightly, a soft sound that eased Alex. "Are you okay though? I mean-"

"I'm fine." She cut him off. "Thank you."

"Need a -um- a lift home or anything?" Matt muttered, scratching his head lightly.

Alex gave him an un-nerved look, easing her eyes over his figure before focusing back on his face. It was late, granted, but she wasn't going to catch a lift with a stranger.

A stranger that saved you. Her subconscious would remind her. Biting her lip softly she eyed him under hooded lids, sighing she finally opened her mouth. "Seeing as you've saved me twice before, why not once more." She muttered, doing her best not to let him see the insecurity that washes over her.

Matt nods, giving her a warm smile and offers his arm with a wink. She flushes, shaking her head lightly as she links their arms. "Bike's over there."

Alex's face drops slightly, as if he'd hit her with a life changing problem. "A bike?" She asks, face in utter disbelief.

"A bike, Alex."

"I can't ride a bike."

"Well it's good that you aren't driving then." He grins at her, teeth flashing as they walk up to a rather large black bike, red flashes down the side with a studded seat.

Her mouth is slightly agape and eye's wide as if the vehicle was a serpent, ready to strike at her.

"Here." Before she knew it she had a hat chucked at her, catching it oddly in her arms she looked up at him. "It goes on your head." He laughed, swinging a leg over the bike and patting behind him.

Oh god. What had she got herself into?

Sighing she put the hat on, trying her best to shove curls in the hat and out her face, finally finished she tugged the chin strap on, meeting Matt's amused eyes.

"Don't laugh at me." She huffed, copying his actions and hopping on the bike, awkwardly putting her hands on her lap.

"Might want to hold on, doll." He said huskily, turning the key, kicking off the stabiliser and revving the engine.

Alex's mind rushed as she slowly wrapped her arms around him, feeling warm skin under her arms, for such a lean looking man, he was surprisingly muscular. She could feel soft ripples of muscle under her hands as she rest her head on his back.

Before she knew it, they were in motion, wind ruffling her curls, kissing her cheeks and chilling her skin.

"Where abouts are we going?" His voice was thick above the engine.

"Uh...Liberty Street." She said, smiling as he sped up slightly. There was an odd royalty of being on a bike, towering above the rest on a different level. It was unlike anything else she'd tried before, it was thrilling, nothing like having a window open or an open top.

Alex shrieked, clinging to Matt as he spun around a corner. He laughed lightly at her, getting a gentle thump for his actions. It was only when they started to slowly cruise down the almost empty streets Alex dug her head up from his back, enjoying the way everything outside seemed to buzz with excitement as they went past.

Matt caught her smile in his wing mirror, he couldn't help but reflect it, her smile was one of those contagious ones, one that just had to be smiled back at.

But all to soon the happiness was faulted as they rounded the corner to Alex's street. "Here will be fine."

He nodded simply, slowly pulling up along side the pavement and soothing the engine. She hopped off, the loss of his warmth against her making her shiver. She tugged off the hat, freeing curls that instantly sprung free, falling down her shoulders. Handing back the helmet, Matt put it on his head instead with a nod in thanks.

"Thank you uh-"

"Matt." He filled in with a warm smile.

Alex smiled slowly, dipping her head so cover flushed cheeks. "Thank you, Matt. Once again, for being my hero."

"Anytime." He winked and with that he drove away, a short gust of air rustling the leaves.

* * *

The next time he sees her, she has tears running down her face once more, a bruise looming on her cheek and a angry scar oozing blood from her forehead. She's swearing like a sailor with one hand pressed to her head.

He edges closer to her her, one hand finding it's way to her shoulder. She tenses a little until she looks up to him, the sight he faces is enough the break his heart.

"What the hell happened?!" He frets, scanning her now bruising cheek and the blood mixing with her tears.

She lowers her head, face scrunching in pain as she sways ever so slightly. "Got in between two guys fighting, stupid of me really. I'm okay."

Matt instantly grabs a plastic crate from bins near by and sits her on it, smoothing his hand down her arm, trying to pry her hands away so he can inspect her. She slowly takes her hands away, revealing the long gash. Matt gasped slightly, feeling a soft pain for her as he slowly drags away the blooded curls from around the cut.  
Alex tensed slightly, shrinking away from him. Matt ignored her, reassuring her with soft hushes and simply asking. "Do you have a tissue?"

Alex grumbled under her breath before digging her hand between her cleavage and digging out a hankchief.

Matt blushed rosey, excepting the cloth going to slowly dab at the wound.

Why the hell was he doing this for her? All of this? He'd saved her twice, given her husband something to remember and now he was, what, doctoring her? She can't say she didn't like it though, it felt nice to have someone care for her, not just pass her off like some piece of trash. Plus if young, muscular, handsome men wanted to help her all the time she wouldn't say no at all.

"There, should do it. It's not that deep so you won't need stitches or anything. How are you feeling?"

"Fine, thank you." She smiled, eyebrows drawing together slightly as she met his gaze.

He slowly lifted his hand once more, tracing soft fingers over a bruise, an old on in the corner of her eye. "What happened here?"

She shrugged him off, swallowing thickly as she danced away, getting up abruptly. "Nothing. Just a scrape. I'm clumsy as hell." She giggled shallowly, scrubbing the back of her head.

"Alex." He warned, voice suddenly rough.

She cowered away, shoulders dipping and eyes down cast. "Matt stop. It's nothing. God, i hardly know you."

"We could change that. And Alex, i'm sorry, sweetheart but you are a terrible liar. It's not nothing because nobody reacts like that from just being called their name." He fought back, trying his best to be warming to her.

With her heart in her throat and her mind lost she mumbled her answer under her breath. "You're not the only one he picks fights on."

"What-Who?" He asked, eyebrows set.

She didn't get time to answer him before he gasped, a rumbling growl following. "Him? That prick? Your husband?" He rambled angrily, voice deep.

She nodded wordlessly, tears slowly trailing down her cheeks. He had her face in one large palm the next second, tipping her head up to look at him. "He's an arse."

Alex chuckled, wiping at her cheeks as she met his eyes, melting almost instantly. "Well aren't you smart."

They both laughed then, setting a lighter mood as Alex relaxed. "You shouldn't let him hurt you, doll."

She snorted, rolling her eyes at him. "If it was as simply as saying 'no' to him, i think i would have done it a long time ago."

Matt shook his head, jaw set as he rested one side of his head to hers. "No, you don't understand. You shouldn't because...because a beautiful woman like you deserves better." He soothed, his heart spoke more but his tongue was stuck in knots.

"What are going to do about it?" She was breathless, lost in ecstacy of the new feeling.

"This." Before she knew it his mouth was on hers. Soothing away her fears with the soft sweep of his tongue. A whine slipped out of her mouth as she leant against him, a deep groan from Matt making her weak at the knees and part her lips, kissing him thoroughly. This whole experience was foreign to Alex, the soft strokes of Matt's tongue, the way his lips seemed to smooth her. It was always rushed and hard with Ralph but she'd known no different.

_Ralph._

"Bollocks." She hissed, shoving Matt away as she slowly and awkwardly backed up. "I...um...shit...sorry...this..it was...great..i mean...bollocks. I have to go." And with that she went, sprinting around the corner and out of view, leaving Matt with his lips still tingling and his heart on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can i just say, this chapter was perfect. I mean perfect. Worked my arse off on it, then what do i go and do?! BLOODY WELL SHUT DOWN THE TAB. Hopeless. Anywhoozal, hope this wasn't as bad as i see it as :P 
> 
> I really need comments on this, real ones, like what you love and what you hate and where you'd like to see it go, pleaseeee i'll give you cupcakes for your efforts :3 
> 
> Thank you guys<3


	5. Say what's in this drink?

There's a hot flush raging over Alex, her mind spins, her heart pounds and her eyes see stars. All in the most amazing way. It was wrong, so wrong. She wouldn't cheat. No matter how many times Ralph cheated, she wouldn't. She couldn't. But the warmth inside her belly roared with lust, the feeling so unique and wonderful she couldn't help but want more. Her lips felt on fire, the most wonderful heat. He'd kissed her and _lord_ , it felt wrong and right all at the same time. They had fit so perfectly together it made her head spin.

She'd never felt...wanted. But that simple kiss, the simple, innocent touches had made her feel wanted. Loved even. She didn't love him, he was still a stranger. Maybe a stranger that saved her but a stranger non the less.

But god, her blood rushed with energy when she see's him. That night he gave her a lift back, she felt like they were teenagers, sneaking out to go do mischief. The feel of his muscles under her palms, the tattoos marking his skin from under his white shirt, the way he seemed to switch from a rough, snarky man to such a soft soul made her heart beat a little faster. How gentle he was when fixing her up -who knew being a waitress could be so dangerous- that foreign feeling invades her heart once more.

She doesn't love Ralph, she could tell you that from the day she married him. But Ralph was all she had, he had all their money, he owned the house, her car, he had half of Evie, he had her. So a divorce was out of the question, she didn't even know if a divorce was what she wanted anyway. Her heart had come so accustomed to Ralph all those years ago that she had to marry him, she loved him. _Loved._ Past tense. Now she just 'tolerated' him, she had to, for her daughter if nothing else.

She didn't love Ralph. She didn't love a stranger. But maybe she could love him, two could play at this game.

Not now, now she needed to get home and check on her baby. She needed to just hold onto the only stable thing in her life.

* * *

Matt scrubbed a hand over his face, sighing roughly as he slowly got to his feet. _Well done, Jackass_. He growled to himself, kicking the box in front of him and locking his jaw. Why on Earth did he even think he could make it back into this bloody world?! He'd shut himself out for a reason. He'd scared Alex off, part of his heart that she'd carved her name into running off with her. But those curls and curves still flooded his mind. Like the soft curve of her lips as she smiled. He smiled softly at the thought, ducking his head slightly.

He growled once more, damn her. He'd met her, what, 4 times?! And she already had an effect on him. Damn her. Damn those curls that framed her face so beautifully, that made her look like a Queen with a crown on her head, the same curls he'd missed for 4 months a couple of days ago. Damn her beautiful face, the way her nose crinkled ever so slightly when she smiled or laughed, her eye's so beautiful on their own as they swam in an ocean of blue, her nose with the soft bump he'd noticed only moments ago and already fallen in love with it. Damn those lips, the lips he'd kissed. The lips that felt so warm and perfect against his, the lips that parted to allow him to show her how much he cared for her in such a short time.

A tap on his shoulder made him turn, a little jutter in his heart made him hope it was Alex. He didn't get chance to look before he was on the floor. A glaring white filling his vision and a cracking pain filled his head and neck. He groaned, closing his eyes and wincing when the action only made the pain worse. A hand lifted to his nose, feeling a warmth smother his hand. _Great luck._

* * *

"So, let me get this straight. You kissed her and it was all 'awhhh' then she left hurriedly and then you ended up looking like shit on the ground." Karen plotted, hands wrapped around her pint.

"Sounds about it." Matt murmured, slowly sipping his own pint, hissing when he caught the cut on his lip.

"Sounds like you got screwed, Man." Arthur laughed, laughing more when Karen elbowed him in the ribs.

Matt scowled at him an angry grumble escaping his lips. "I'll bloody screw you up if you don't shut your gob."

"Down boy, god Kaz we really need to train him." Arthur mocked, electing a giggle from Karen. Matt rolled his eyes, slumping back against the plush corner bar.

"I'm sorry, i'm sorry. What does this chick look like then?" Arthur said, hands in the air in surrender.

Matt sighed, smiling at the thought of her. "She's got curls you could see a mile away, curves galore, a voice that could make any man melt and she's just...beautiful."

"Like her then." Arthur muttered, nodding over to a woman lent against the bar. His words didn't register to Matt's ears until a moment later, making Matt dart his eyes around the room, eyes finally laying on the figure. The curls are a dead give-a-way and the second she turns around, nerves spike down Matt's spine. Shit- what if he screwed up? What if she hates him- what if she never wanted to see him again? With his heart braking from the thoughts he quickly cuts the eye contact and returns his attention to the beer cradled in his hands.

He doesn't hear the click of her heels when she approaches, nor does he hear her say 'hello' to people passing by but his body reacts to her hand on his lower back by relaxing. He quickly turns his head, met by those beautiful eyes but there is something different about them now, they have a hint of worry in them. The scar is healing nicely on her forehead, the bruises almost gone and she looks breath taking.

" _Hello_." She purrs, eye's scanning his face as they take in all the scars Matt is sporting.

"Uh-H-Hello." He mumbles, inwardly cursing his words for tripping up.

Karen and Arthur are both smiling like two parents who are giving their son away. They both agree to get a new pint and smoothly leave, Matt isn't sure whether he wants to kill them for leaving or thank them. Alex freezes, blushing lightly, situation now a little awkward but Matt moves over, offering her a seat she gladly takes.

"You look better." He says, nodding to her cut.

"Oh, yeah. Feels better also, thank you." She mutters, hand tentatively touching the gash. "Can't say the same for you though." She giggles.

He huffs out a laugh, smiling at her. "Yeah, well, some arse hole had it out for me that night."

Her face drops ever so slightly, wincing for him as she raises a hand. "They look okay, though. I mean he did a good job on you, but they look like they are healing." She says absentmindedly as her hand strokes over the cut on his lip softly. She quickly takes her hand away when he shudders, actions finally hitting her brain.

Matt's smile widens at her retreat. "So how are you?" _Better to get the boring stuff out the way._

She nods unevenly, looking a little taken back at the question. "I'm okay, no different i suppose."

Matt's jaw locks instantly because he knows what she means. "Still the same then?" The words hurt to say.

"Yeah.." It's merely a whisper but it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

Silence fills the air for a moment as they sit in their own thoughts.

"Not working then?" He brakes the silence, a charming grin on his face as he motions to her apron.

"Oh- uh, well i suppose i should be but then i saw you..."

"My handsome features attracting you, Alex?" He puffs out his chest, stroking his jaw.

Alex blushes, shoving at his side as she ducks her head slightly. "Shut up."

"Not a chance."

He straightens the collar of his shirt, grinning smugly at her. "When are you off?" 

"Work? Ummm...around 10 minutes. Why? Planning on sticking around?" She asks, biting the inside of her cheek against a grin that threatens to take over her face.

"Why of course, i owe you a drink after all."

She opens her mouth to ask him what he means but only then does one of the barmaids ask her for help. Patting his knee in apology she rises and swiftly moves over to the bar, not two seconds later does Kaz appear with a grin that could melt the sun.

"So? What did she say? Please say you didn't fuck it up?"

Matt frowns at her, throwing her a warning glare before grinning smugly. "No, i didn't, thank you very much. In fact we're getting drinks later."

Karen squeals, making the boys wince and roll their eyes as she continues to bounce in her seat. Matt can't blame her though, he would have done exactly the same if he didn't have any self control.

"Well we're off, good luck, mate. Don't screw thing up, we'll see you in a couple months, eh?" Arthur interrupts, squeezing Karen's shoulder. Karen pouts but apparently Arthur's look he gives is enough to convince her, giving her friend a smacking kiss on the cheek they leave, leaving Matt alone to finish his beer and grin like an idiot.

Sudden nerves kick in, like a giant slap to the face. What the hell was he meant to say to her? He was an oaf, a thing with spaghetti for arms and legs and enough charm to talk the hind legs off a donkey.

"Okay?" A voice made him jump out of his skin, but the giggle that followed was enough to soothe all nerves.

"Uh...yeah. Sure. Drinks it is. Ready, Madame?" He asked, slipping out from under the table and joining her side, arm out for her to take as he peered down at her.

"Always, Sir." She chuckled, lip caught in between her teeth as she linked their arms. Walking out of the warmth of the bar made Alex shiver but Matt was on it in a second, arm unlinking and wrapping around her form, rubbing mindless patterns in a mindless gesture. "Where are we going?"

"I promised drinks did i not?"

"Yes, but i'm not sure i want one this time of night."

"Never said they had to be alcoholic, dear." He grinned, bouncing like a puppy.

He led them to a remote area, a little Cafè with only a few people inside. A small bell chimed as they entered, a woman popping her head out from around the coffee machine greeted them.

" 'Ello, 'ello. What can i get for ya lovely two?" She grinned charmingly, noting the slight nervous hum that came from Matt ,she turned to the mass of curls.

"Oh, um, just a decaf would be lovely, thank you."

"And for you, handsome?" The woman asked, for a lady in her late 60's she wasn't afraid to flirt, making Matt laugh lightly.

"A Latte for me, sweetheart." He smiled, winking to the cashier who flushed them away with a whistle.

"Got a kink, dear?" Alex asked cheekily, eyebrow raised as she flashed him a smirk.

"Just a hopeless flirt, i can assure you." He laughed, laying his jacket over the back of a chair as he sat down.

Then was the first time Alex had truly look at him, wearing an old Beatles shirt and jeans ripped at the knee that hung off his hips in the most delicious way. His cheekbones were slightly more prominent than before and the scar on his lip sent a warmth to her stomach. Quickly averting her eyes she sit down next to him, crossing her legs and looking across to see him looking back at her.

"What did you mean back at the pub?" She asks, _better now than never_.

"I owe you an apology. So i'm giving you a drink." He deadpanned simply.

"What apology? I'm the one who owes you a drink, not vice versa." She chuckles, eying him with caution.

He sighs, eyes dropping to the floor before returning to her warm ones. "For the kiss, Alex."

 _Oh._ "You regret it?" She asks worriedly, plucking at the end of her skirt. Her heart is pounding, god, she knew she was an idiot.

"No.." He mutters, eyes still fixed on hers, picking at any sign as his heart lodges itself in his throat.

Suddenly their faces are a lot closer than they first were, Alex's eyes fixed on his mouth as her eyes flutter slightly, following the movement of his tongue as it swipes over his lips, making her weak in a way she can't describe.

"Then why are you sorry..." The breathless question seems to take forever to say but the moment it is out her heart is leaping like a mad man. He doesn't answer, instead he captures her lips, making her whimper mercifully as he sinks his teeth softly into her bottom lip before soothing his tongue over the mark. She opens her mouth for him, slowly licking at the top of his mouth, the groan he gives off making her melt.

"I shouldn't be doing this.." She breathes as they part, foreheads resting together as she warms to his eyes.

"But you are, Alex." His voice is like liquor, making her drunk of every word and she hates it. But loves it with a passion that only seems to spark when he is around. And he's right, she is. She is and she wants to for the rest of her cheating life. His thumb strokes her cheek softly, making her wobble and tip her head slightly. He bends his head, meeting her lips once more in a deep kiss.

"I'm married." She fights back weakly, leaning into his touch.

"To an arse hole who doesn't deserve you." The words make her soften, an unmistakable feeling erupting in the depths of her belly.

Coffee's come a second later, being placed on the table with a wink to Matt. But they are ignored for a second longer, Matt kissing her quickly once more before diving for the beverage, taking a long sip.

"Come on, drink up. I didn't pay for them for nothing." He grins, biting his tongue and laughing deeply when Alex shoves at him.

So they sit in almost silence, the only sounds are the soft tunes of the shop and moans from Alex when the liquid slides down her throat. Next to her he shifts uncomfortably, making Alex giggle, curls bouncing around her shoulders.They place down their cups in unison and sit back with a welcome sigh.

Checking her watch she curses, quickly getting up and shoving on her coat, meeting Matt's eyes she sighs and leans down to place a kiss to his cheek.

"I have to get back, i'm sorry. I have-" a daughter, is what her mouth goes to say but her brains shut her off, not wanting to scare him away after such a lovely afternoon. "To get back." She finishes.

Matt is up in a moment, jacket over his shoulder as he slides a hand down the inside of her arm and links their hands, leaving money on the table he escorts her out. Leading her back to where they started at the pub.

"I uh...suppose i'll see you around." He murmurs anxiously.

"Soon, Matt. I promise, just- just let me think." About to walk away before her wrist is snagged she looks back to give him a glare but he brings her into a biting kiss, hands on either side of her face as he devours her in the most passionate way. Her thoughts are lost in the kiss as she grabs at his shirt, fists balling the material in a futile attempt to get him closer.

"See you around, Alex." He breathes as they part.

She nods, wordlessly, mouth slightly agape as she struggles for breath, slowly backing up.

_Oh yes. She could get used to this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay, let's clear this up because i didn't have the chance to put this in this chapter, Ralph works in the day for a big company earning big stuff. Well as Alex works as a waitress in the evenings so she gets more time with Evie<3
> 
> I actually kinda liked this chapter, hopefully this is mutual<3  
> I also didn't delete this chapter, proud of myself :P


	6. The opposite of love's indifference

Ralph pulled the door almost completely closed behind him, leaving it open a crack in case Evie awoke. Making his way out to the bed, he sighed as he sank down next to Alex. Ignoring the way she shrinks away from him, she discards her glasses and book on the nightstand, going to turn it off but Ralph clears his throat in a negative. Alex frowns only for a moment at him, she doesn't get the chance to complain before he has her nestled into his bare chest his hand stroking down the line of her spine. She can't help but melt into his hands, her brain curses her but her body is like putty in his hands. He has such a tight hold on her heart it scares her but she also can't help but smile in the soft glow of the young evening.

Her hand subconsciously coming up to run circles on his bare chest, his arms tightening around her and for a moment she fears he will brake the moment with rough touches, leading to something more but instead she feels his lips press softly against the crown of her hair.

"What are you thinking about?" He mumbles against her hair.

"Nothing....You?" The words and actions are meaningless she tries to convince herself but the words he says next hit her square.

"How much you mean to me." Her breaths are shallow, as if she's trying not to be seen at all. "I'd be nothing without you, Lexie. 5 years ago you were my everything. Now 5 years on you still are my everything. All mine." He growls the last syllables making her wince and shrink once again into the mattress but he soothes innocently. "I love you."

She says nothing, how could she? What the hell had called this on? They barely ever talk these days and even when they do it's just domestic things, _like whats for dinner?_ or _where are my socks?_ The rest of the time they talk it's when Ralph has taken her and is grunting mindless things in her ear. She also doesn't want to say anything. She doesn't love him back. He's an arse and forever will it stay that way. The slight pang in her heart makes her stomach churn and her eyes squeeze shut. She bites her lip, one hand coming to cover her mouth as she slowly swings her legs over the bed, excusing herself, she dashes down the house to the kitchen where the small bathroom lies and empties her stomach. She hates this. God, she hates herself. He's her husband, saying he loves her shouldn't have such a dire effect. He's her husband. She should love him back. Or at least bloody well try. It's a battle she's had to many times but now. Now, it hurts to think about. For her heart is split in two, fighting a loosing battle of tug of war.

So she cries, on arm under her head in a makeshift pillow as the other is slung over the side of the toilet. But it hurts. All of this hurts. Being with one man and loving another. Her mother would kill her. She snorts at the thought, wiping at her eyes. But being with Matt is so sinister she loves it all the more. _Matt_ \-- She lurches over the bowl once more. Groaning she slowly sits up, head hitting the cold wall as more tears escape.

* * *

Alex wakes on the sofa the next morning to a kiss being pressed against her nose. Opening her eyes groggily, Ralph looks at her with sad eyes. She forces a smile at him- god she'd make a great actress- scrubbing at her eyes. She can see the worry in his eyes, that fake meaning that hollows him.

"You okay, love?" He asks sweetly, _ever the gentleman_.

"Fine, sorry, must have been the food at the pub yesterday." She lies, it had become so easy that it doesn't even feel like lying anymore.

"I made breakfast, Evie is still asleep, completely out. Tea is on the side also."

"Thank you- I'll get some in a moment. I'll see you later."

He leans in to kiss her, capturing her lips in an oddly sweet kiss, hand stroking over her cheek. Alex parts abruptly, biting her lip. "I don't want to get you sick..."

Ralph laughs, squeezing her thigh and leaving a sloppy kiss on her forehead. "You stupid woman." He shakes his head in amusement as he walks off.

Alex releases the breath she didn't know she was holding as she tries to calm down her heart, punching herself inwardly for being so daft. It wasn't the fact that Ralph was being to kind that made her worry, he could be nice, utterly charming even, it was the fact that she had lost that side of him. She'd lost herself to tell the truth but her mind had lost the sweet Ralph and replaced it with the forceful man she knew today.

Evie tottled in a moment later, looking sleepy and grumpy. It made Alex chuckle slightly as she extended her arms out to the girl, Evie pouted at her as she scrambled up to her mother, curling herself into Alex's lap and placing her thumb in her mouth.

"You okay, sweetie?" Alex asks, stroking back the rusted curls as the girl leans into her touch.

Evie nods wordlessly, head falling into Alex's chest as she closes her eyes once more.

"I thought we could go into town?" Alex starts, head flopping back against the back of the sofa as she continues to run her hands through the girls hair.

"Later..." Evie yawns, falling into a trance.

 _Later._ Alex agrees.

* * *

 

They wonder into town an hour later, one hand clasped with Evie's and the other holding a picnic basket. Evie had demanded it and truly, who could say no to those eyes?

So they wonder into town in search of the park, the smell of fresh cake and egg and cress sandwiches following them. It's a nice day, a few clouds but this is Britain and you'd be lucky to find a day with no clouds. There is a soft heat kissing their skin as they lay down the blanket, Evie instantly laying down on it, taking up 90% of the space as she pretends to make snow angels.

"Ummm, excuse me, missy." Alex chuckles, placing down the basket and going over to the girl, threatening to sit on her, Evie squeals away. Cheeky heathen. They lay down next to each other, staring at the clouds and chuckling when they find out the various animals hidden in them. Evie finds a dinosaur, holding up her knitted toy she carries everywhere, declaring that 'Duke' made the cloud himself. A soft laugh makes them look up to the figure leaning over them, dirt smothered over the figure's face.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt but i found this lost dinosaur and thought it might be yours." His voice is like gold, so rich it makes her heart stutter.

There in his hand is a smaller, green knitted Stegosaurus, slightly warn out with threads spilling out of it's back. Evie gasps, nodding silently as she reaches out a hand to take it. He hands it over gently, smiling softly as Evie thanks him.

"Look after him, Kiddo. He was a bit scared when i found him." He winks, crouching down to the girls height.

"Thank you, you silly dinosaur." She growls at the toy, making the two adults smile widely as she goes off to check over the toy.

"Hello stranger." Alex purrs, leant up on one arm as she meets his eyes.

"Hello gorgeous." He groans back, the urge to kiss her is intense but the small girl close by reals him back in.

"Fancy seeing you here."

"Yeah, well. Just got off for lunch break and those curls are rather distracting." He plucks out one ringlet, curling it around his finger and letting it fall back to place with a soft spring.

She chuckles, blushing lightly as she bites her lip. "Well we're having sandwiches and you are more than welcome to join us."

"If it's no trouble, i'd love too."

Alex scoffs, looking over to her daughter who is playing in her own bubble, being doctor to her dinosaurs, the scene like a picture so Alex leaves her, instead chucking the wrapped sandwiches at Matt and laughing greatly when he bumbles about, mumbling something she can't quite hear under his breath.

"You didn't tell me you had a daughter..." He starts, eying her lightly, knowing how thin the ice is.

"You never asked." She answers back stiffly, eyes cast down as she picks off the crust of her sandwich.

"Alex..." His words are cut off when Evie returns to fetch her own lunch, planting herself in between Alex's legs and diving into the food. Silence fills the air, Matt trading his cards wisely for his next move as Alex sits in her own sorrow, drowning out the man next to her.

"Simon says thank you." Evie murmurs, greens eyes fluttering up at him. Matt smiles, hand smoothing over the girls hair.

"Simon, eh? Well, tell him that he's very welcome." Evie blushes, scrambling over to fetch the two dinosaurs and plop Simon in Matt's lap.

"He says that he likes you." Evie states, nodding knowingly.

"Does he now? Well i like him too." Matt chuckles, giving the toy an awkward stroke.

Evie smiles at him, apparently pleased as she digs into her sandwich once more. Matt catches Alex's eye, she's trying her hardest to contain a bout of laughter, biting her lip as a smile spreads across her face. He mouths the question 'Simon?' to which Alex finally gives up and ends up laughing, smothering the sound in her sleeve. Evie is glaring at her when she gets herself under control but Matt look far to smug for his own good. 

They sit there in comfortable silence until they are left alone once more, the little girl off to play in the grass.

"Is she like that with all her toys?" Matt asks, going back to pull gently on a ringlet, smiling widely when it hops back into place.

Rolling her eyes Alex replies. "She only has dinosaurs, trust me i've tried with dolls and cars but she stuck her little feet down in dinosaurs. I'm running out of space though.." She giggles, the sound making a spark arise in Matt's chest.

"She's a good kid." Matt nudges her, meeting her eyes with a soft smile.

"Yeah..she is. She's a miracle." Alex breathes, eyes casting over to the giggling girl, now sprawled out as the toys attack her.

"I missed you..." The words are mumbled, lost in the deep growl of his voice and they catch her off guard, making her blue eyes snap up to his in shock. She's missed him too, truth be told but she wasn't about to admit that to him. She could admit it to herself but to him was a different ball game.

"Matt..."

"I know, i know. You're still thinking. It's fine, i'm just saying that i missed you. I think it's the curls." He minds, his sight locked on hers and they are drawing her in. Making her insides quiver and fail as he dips his head down to hers.

"Mum!" Comes a squeal, making them break apart as the girl flings herself into her mothers lap, giggles erupting. Matt only smiles, watching as Alex tickles her daughter until the girl is hiccuping for breath. He can see now that she is in her element, she's different with Evie, softer yet with a motherly barrier and it makes him smile. He can imagine her with a herd of children and never moan for a minute about them.

His phone buzzes, signalling him to go back to work. "Sorry, i have to go." He excuses himself, subconsciously leaning down and giving her the slightest peck on the lips. With that he's off and it's not until a moment later does he recall his actions, looking back only to see Alex with a brimming smile on her face and Evie still laughing in her lap. His feelings for his dear Alex growing not only by the minute but by the second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this isn't the best and you waited ages for it but shoot me later.  
> This week has been so busy and i found myself in the ER a couple of days ago and it was my grandparents 50th wedding thingy and well yes :P  
> Phoebe, sweetheart i will mail you soon! It's a promise!  
> Also ChiefDoctor i could kiss you because Word saved my life :P
> 
>    
> Oh and look Matt is working :3  
> Thank you all for reading<3


	7. Tear My Heart Out And Bleed Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VIOLENCE IN THIS CHAPTER (It gets better, i promise)
> 
> But an attempted fluff at the end :3
> 
> Next chapter is pure fluff and maybe....sex?

Evie and Alex skip into the house later that day, only to be met with Ralph's welcome smile, Evie hops into his arms, grinning wide as her arms snake around his neck.

"Where have you been, Angel?" He asks, pinching at the girls side, face alighting when she giggles.

"Picnic, but daddy, Simon ran away!" She gasps, Ralph echoing her actions. "But a funny man came and gave him back, he ate some of my sandwiches too, but 'tis okay because he saved Simon." Evie, bless her in her innocence has no idea what actions follow her words, for Alex can she the glimmer of anger in Ralph's eyes as his jaw locks.

"Did he now? Well, how very kind of him. Why don't you go put Simon to bed, i'm sure it has been a long day for him." Ralph smiles, he's awfully good at hiding from Evie.

Evie pouts, a hand coming to rest on her hip as she shakes her head. "I need you to help me too, daddy."

"In a minute." He snaps, making Alex flinch and scuttle over to protect the child but Ralph's bruising hand on her hip stutters her movements.

Evie clutches the toy to her chest, eyes dancing around the floor as her bottom lip quivers ever so slightly, she nods, running down the hall. Alex goes to follow her, shoulders hunched as she expects his next move. It comes before she's even aware of it. Crushing her against the wall, her head hitting the brick with an ungodly crack. She groans, tears pricking her eyes already as he grinds himself into her.

"Teaching our daughter bad habits now, 'Lex? I know you're a whore, but is that really what you want our daughter to be too?" He growls, low and throaty in her ear. "You are mine, Alex. _Mine_. To do with as _I_ please and i swear on my life if you let any man touch you, i'll kill him, then you." His voice is calm and it makes her sob. "Who's are you, Alex?" He asks, teeth sinking into her neck.

She whimpers, eyes squeezed shut as she tries her best not to make a sound, for Evie's sake.

"Answer me." He yells, slamming her shoulder into the wall. She wails slightly before biting into her lip, hard enough she can feel the warmth of blood fill her mouth.

"Yours." The words leave a bitter taste in her mouth and her throat sore.

"Good girl." He awards, petting back her hair and making her look into his eyes. "Now, go put Evie to bed. Be down here in 10." He growls, a hand swiftly stinging her cheek as he sends her off. She staggers slightly, her shoulder aching and her head spinning as she forges down the hall. She comes across the bathroom first, quickly scrambling in and slamming the door behind her, her body heaving over the toilet as fear shakes her body. Her hand is shaking as fingers dab at the spot on the back of her head. A red blur fills her teared eyes as she brings her hand back around, she groans before standing up, knowing all to well that Evie will be safest once asleep.

She finds the girl huddled in the corner of her room, squished between her wardrobe and the creme wall. She has her face buried in the purple material of her toy, hands clutched to the side of her head, covering her ears. Alex's heart drops at the sight, her little girl, oh her brave girl. A shaky hand comes up to gently wrap around the child's forearm, shushing her softly and humming reassurance. Slowly, Evie releases her vice grip on the stuffed toy, whimpering quietly as she lifts her head. The scene upon Alex is enough to make her heart give out, it's so agonizing that it takes Alex's breath away almost permanently. Evie's face is struck with tears, droplets hang in her eyes, blood shot and lost, her hair is damp against her face, cheeks dimpled as she tries her best not to cry aloud. Such a young girl shouldn't have to cry like this.

"Hey, sweetheart. It's okay, Daddy will play with you tomorrow, hey? How does that sound? He's just a bit tired, just like when you wake me up and i'm all moody." Alex explains, delighted when the girl chuckles at her words. Alex is getting truly sick of having to cover up for Ralph's selfish mistakes. Sometimes he does a convincing job of making it seem like his heart is ice cold.

"He's just tired?" Evie asks, a small uncertain smile edging at the corner of her mouth.

Alex nods wordlessly, reaching out to cup her daughters cheek, stroking her thumb over her cheek and wiping away the droplets. Evie nods lightly, Alex knows better than to think the girl has just accepted the lie. Evie has been through this whole play far to many times for it just to come down to Ralph's lack of sleep. Alex's heart goes out to her. Not only for going along with it but to also being so brave.

Moments later Alex is walking out of her daughters room, little girl tucked up and -nearly- sound asleep. Evie- the little actress- has come across a little routine on days like today, she goes to bed like an angel, eyes closed but brain wide awake as she listens out for any rustle and bussle, it's part of the reason Alex makes sure to keep the whole interaction with Ralph as quite as possible.

But just as she closed a door, Ralph opens another, the front door to be precise as he slams it behind him. Off to get a drink and if Alex is lucky come home drunk as can be and fall asleep on the sofa. She can't help but smile and sigh in relief, going about pouring herself a glass of wine and putting some rubbish telly, letting Matt cloud her mind. The whole interaction at the park truly tested her self control, for if Evie wasn't there she is almost completely sure she would have taken him then and there. He seems to be one of the only things that keep her smiling these days. Also seeing him interact with Evie made her heart flood with warmth. He was a natural but she supposed it to be normal when the man himself looked like a child.

Only a couple hours later does she find herself faced with a highly drunk Ralph. His words are slurring slightly and his breath reeks of whiskey and cigars. She's about to stand up and lead the staggering man to sleep when she's pushed roughly onto the couch, pinned down by the weight of Ralph.

" _My dirty whore_." He grinds, teeth baring, face inches apart from her own.

"Ralph, You need to sleep it off...." She struggles, trying her best to shift his weight.

He jumps up off her, hands waving as he tries to steady himself, then going to lean down and spit through his teeth. "Get up, Alex."

"Ralph, why don't you just lie down-" Her sentence is cut off by a punctuated slap across her cheek, making the skin pucker and leave a red print. She whimpers as he grabs a fistful of her hair, yanking her up.

"That wasn't a question, 'Lex." He growls, his foul breath alluding her scenes as she's shoved into the kitchen, his grip biting in her hair. She has to bite down on her lip, hard, to stop any sound escape her mouth. He shoves her against the island, going over to pick up a knife, inspecting it and looking over to Alex's ghostly form.

"Pretty knife, eh?" He asks, grinning sickly as he comes over to Alex with the object, holding it up in his hands, the light bouncing off the blade, making Alex gulp slowly, eyes fixed on the blade.

"Pretty knife....pretty woman." He chuckles, looking over to his wife, standing as pale as a sheet, lips pursed and tears threatening to fall. He leads the tip over her collarbone, the sharp metal leaving needles in it's path. He then follows it down between her breasts, up over her heart making her breath hitch and eyes flutter shut before he pulls it back down to the soft curve of her cleavage. "Who's are these, my darling?" He asks, smile light and sinister. She knows the answer, she also knows how it will pan out does she say those words but they are stuck in her throat, fear and her own stubborness getting the better of her. "Alex!" He snaps, the tip of the knife now digging into her flesh, she jumps at his tone, the knife leaving a small gash as blood trickles already.

"Yours." She bites, head turned in embarrassment. He smiles his reward, raising the knife and Alex is certain this will be the moment he kills her but instead she feels the blade being buried into the counter, making Alex cower.

"See, things don't have to be so bad when you're good, Alex. I don't get why you fight me." He spits, face pressed close to hers as he grips her chin, turning her face so he can capture her lips but she doesn't respond to him, staying as still as a statue. He slaps her then, hand coming to cover his previous mark. "Don't act like you don't want this Alex." He grunts as a hand slides down her now open stomach into her trousers and under her knickers, feeling the thatch of hair and raking hard calloused fingers through her folds.

"I'd even go as far to say you are enjoying this." He grins, she winces, biting back a sob as she tries her best not to struggle. "Shhh, it's okay. It will all be over soon."

* * *

She wakes the next morning to Ralph splayed over the bed. She's achy and sore from last night and the bruises across her body make her squeeze her eyes closed, ashamed and scared. Ralph had dragged her to their room, one hand clutching her hair as another held a bruising grip on her wrist, she'd kicked and struggled but her actions only ending her with a harsher punishment.

He wakes up grumbling and rubbing his head in pain. Alex rolls her eyes at the pathetic scene, curling up in her own corner and trying her best to go unnoticed but Ralph rolls over, kissing the back of her neck sweetly. Alex shoves him off, meeting his already blazing eyes.

"What do you want from me?" She whispers, her throat sore from keeping back yells.

He grumbles, rolling back onto his back and putting a hand to his forehead. "I want you to grow the fuck up, Alex!" He yells, up in her space once more.

She snorts, glaring at him as she goes to sit up. "Me? Well isn't that rich coming from an overgrown 3 year-old." She grunts, voice dripping with sarcasm and it's never felt so sweet.

He pounces on her in a moment, instantly regretting her words she shrinks, body curling, trying to hide. He shoves her into the bed, his hands grabbing her wrists and pinning them above her head with painful force, his hips grinding against her with obvious intent. His hold on her wrist now flaring with pain.

"Stop, Ralph. You're hurting me.." She whimpers, trying miserably to get away.

"Good. It's suppose too." He sneers back, smirking against her ear for a moment before he got up suddenly and as if nothing happened, started to change. She stared at him in disbelief, the man who had her in a bone crushing vice only a moment ago. He raked his eyes over her form, smirking as he admires his handiwork, following his eyes she groans in discuss, grabbing the sheets to cover her naked form.

"See you later, buttercup." He grins, winking at her before he exits, the sound of Alex grunting her displeasure only making his ego rise.

* * *

 

Alex had dropped Evie off at her grandmothers, still half asleep so the girl couldn't see the dark bruises that loomed on her face. It felt like torture to give her girl up, even if it was only for a day, her mothers gasp of horror with one look at her daughter made Alex stronger in her agreement.

Now all she needed was a drink. Maybe even Matt, she needed his soft touches, the voice that seemed to play melodies to her heart. She needed to be loved, to be held and to be reassured. She needs him. So that's what she does. Going her way to the street they seem to in-counter each other on in hopes he'll be there. He heart sinks upon finding him not to be there, but the dreaded bike is there and it's appearance has never been more welcome. A hand slides down the seat, smiling as memories flood back of that night.

"Wanting another ride?" A voice calls from behind, she turns, face almost splitting in two with the smile she possesses. But his face falls at the sight of her, his breath hitched as he takes her in. She freezes, eyes wide as she looks up at him, her eye battered, her cheek staining an ugly purple. Taking small, tentative steps towards her, hands stretched out for her in welcome. But she can't move, she's frozen in place by the sheer worry he has on his face. Cupping her cheek softly he makes a soft whimper for her, thumb gently tracing over the bruises. His eyes are pained and soft. It's breaking both their hearts. She's almost certain she can hear the shatter of her own heart as he breathes away every last inch of her pain.

"What has he done to you, Alex." He breathes, voice clogged with emotion. It makes her knees nearly buckle, her stomach kindle and her heart clench. She wants him, she wants his hands on her, kissing away every last unbearable thought and just stay there. Her heart sings for it and when his thumb sweeps over her cracked lips, it's nearly her undoing.

"Matt..." She whines, voice bleak and needy.

He shushes her softly, cupping her cheek as he brings his nose next to hers, breathing her in as if she's about to disappear before his very eyes. "Shhhh, sweetheart. It's okay, i've got you now." He soothes, hand wrapping around her waist as she blinks away tears, cheek nuzzling against his. She'd missed this, his soft comforting touches sparking her insides and numbing her skin.

They catch each others eyes, pouring unheard feelings into each other before Matt slowly, nervously turns his head, lips hovering over Alex's, waiting for her agreement. She tightens her grip on the inside of his arm and that is all Matt needs, lips meeting hers in a sweet, homely kiss. His tongue is questionable, tentative with her but it soothes her in all the right places, loving in ways she never knew even existed. Her lips are wary at first, frightful but his warmth spills into her heart. His embrace and passion feeling like home. Like this is the place she was meant to be all along, and honestly she never wants to be anywhere else.

They break, hearts pounding in a dance between the two.

"Matt..." She sobs, tears falling as they

"It's okay, it's okay, i'm here. Always here, baby." He whispered, holding her close to him and kissing her forehead as tears finally fell. Alex sobbing into his collar as she clutched to him like a life line. "Come on, 'Lex." He muttered, slowly tugging her away. She sobs the whole way up the stairs and upon entering his flat but he has never felt more privileged to hold this beautiful women in his arms, comfort her in the best way he can. He goes to sit her on the -new- couch to go fetch tea but the fierce shake in he can feel through their hands make him think otherwise, right now all Alex needs is comfort and he will do just that. So instead he takes her denim jacket off her, removes his own jacket and curls onto the couch with her, holding her with soft protection. Hands stroke down the length of her back, making her hum and relax into his touch, the occasional kiss to her forehead, but it's not until she wakes a couple of hours later does she notice how much she trusts this man.

"Wondering when you'd wake up." He smiles at her, index finger tracing the soft curve of her cheek, tucking back loose curls.

Alex chuckles, blushing lightly as she leans up to kiss him softly. "How long have i been asleep?"

"Long enough for my arm to go dead." He grumbles making her laugh, arching slightly so he can retrieve the hand from underneath her.

"Sorry." She giggles, pressing a kiss to his palm. "Can't have been more than an hour."

" _Couple_ of hours."

"A couple?!" Alex starts, jumping from his embrace and digging her phone from her pocket. Her face is a picture of worry and it makes Matt's own face fall to worry. "Evie..." She mumbles, making Matt sigh slightly, standing up and wrapping reassuring arms around her from behind.

"Where is she?" He asks, voice rough in her ear.

"At my mums." Alex frets, breathing out deeply and raking a hand through the mane of curls.

Matt nods, chin resting on top her head as he tries to cool her nerves. "Alex?"

"Mmmm, one minute. Just sending this.."

He huffs, puffing out his cheeks, staying silent until Alex drops her phone in her hands.

"Alex?"

"Yes, Matthew."

"Why don't you both stay here tonight?" He asks softly, hold increasing slightly on her.

Alex stills for a moment. She didn't want to go home to the house, it haunted her with sins and memories- Ralph- he would be there too. But-

"Stop, Alex. Stop trying to run away. Just stay here the night. One night. I- I couldn't ever forgive myself if i let you go back. It would plague me forever. If you got hurt- If _Evie_ got hurt. I can't Alex. He wouldn't know where you were, he wouldn't have to know. Alex i'm asking a simple thing- just lay in my arms tonight, where i know you both are safe." He begs, she's turned in his arms, face to face so she can share his sheer fright.

"Okay."

"Okay? As in yes? You'll stay?" He beams, entwining their hands and squeezing softly.

" _Yes_." She purrs, sending shivers down his back.

* * *

That night, with Evie finally asleep they are entwined in bed in the simple embrace of each other. Bless Evie, she had been so excited that she'd worn all her energy out from simply bouncing about in the back of the car. But as she put the girl to bed, it was obvious the relief she felt from being safe and sound without the threat of her fathers booming voice. They'd had spaghetti and meatballs, made specially by Chef Eve (Matt had insisted that the mess would be cleaned later). Evie has fallen asleep half way through a mouth fall, leaving the adults to carry her to bed. The whole night had been spend in shear bliss.

But now, with the warmth of Matt pressed against her back it all seems to good to be true. But she'd fought with her thoughts enough tonight, instead drifting off into one of the best nights she's had in a very long time.

Matt doesn't sleep for some time after that, the ghostly thoughts of anyone raising a hand against this glorious woman makes his body shoot with anger. It's an anger he never wants to experience, not with his girls around.

_His girls._

It makes him smile, his two favourite woman safe for a night. A hope sparks in his chest that possibly, if the stars are truly watching out for him, that it might just stay that way. Maybe, just maybe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, reviews always loved<3
> 
> As i said at de beginning, it gets better next chapter with fluff and possible kink if you guys want it :P
> 
> Okay, nightttttttt


	8. Am I Wrong.

Alex awoke the next morning to the security of Matt's arms around her, the light brush of his hand snaking under the back of her shirt, a cold palm splaying across her spine as he tugged her closer, the soft, steady pace of his breath against her cheek making her scrunch her nose and giggle.

"Morning." He grumbles, voice thick with sleep making her belly flutter.

"Mmmm, good morning." She purred back, fluttering her eyes open to look up at him, a palm resting against the slight roughness of hair on his cheek.

The adoration in his eyes almost takes her breath away, his eyes soft and fighting the temptation to fall back into sleep as his mouth is curled into a smile, leaning into her touch before he turns his head to press a warm kiss to her palm. She's almost certain she's sporting a sickly sweet smile but honestly she couldn't care. This is nothing like waking up to the bastard she'd come to call a husband, this is home. The buzz in her veins, the kindly feeling that she can't shake off, the tender fondness that blurs her heart all scream home. Here. With this man she's only just come to know, it all feels right. Like the missing piece of a puzzle. A puzzle that has been to painstakingly hard all because she didn't have the picture, but now she has the picture. Safe and wrapped around her.

His hand comes to rest on the dip just above the flare in her hips, squeezing her hand as it comes to entwine with his. It's a moment later of silence when he takes their hands, kissing the back of her hand and resting it just above his heart.

"I think i could wake up like this every day." She mumbles, as if shy, like her words are no place to be spoken.

He smiles, cupping her cheek. "I couldn't agree more." He speaks, leaning down to capture her lips in a sleepy, sweet kiss. The smile against his lips makes him tug her closer and bury a hand in the mass of divine curls.

"When does Evie wake up?" He asks after a moment, slightly breathless as he tries to regain a steady heartbeat.

"Not 'til later, she's a heavy sleeper." Alex chuckles. "But that doesn't mean you'll get lucky." She gives him a weak but stern look.

It takes a moment for her words to sink in before he gasps, looking offended as Alex giggles delightfully. "That. Is. Not. What. I. Meant." He points back, poking her sides and grinning with glee when she tries to squirm away. The room fills with pleasant laughter where Alex finds herself pinned under the weight of Matt as he breathes heavily above her, chest vibrating as he laughs with her. Suddenly the air feels thicker as she flips them, grinning cockily. Matt lets out a small growl at her smugness, tugging her down to kiss her deeply. Sucking her bottom lip into his mouth and soothing it with the flat of his tongue before opening his own mouth to her. The smell and feel of her overpowering his senses as the kiss deepens. She moans into his mouth as he grinds his hips up into hers, they break slightly as her body reacts, grinding back into him before she has even given consent.

"Matt...i'm sorry...i can't..." She whimpers, backing away slightly and tugging the blankets over her, weakly.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I understand." He sighs, breaking slightly at the sight of her, seeing her on the edge of tears he leans up to kiss her forehead, pulling her back down to his side. The thought of what that man has done to her over the years to make her so fragile makes him sick to his stomach. But having the warmth against his side breaks all the anger. She's here, safe in his arms where no one can hurt her.

"Alex?" He was almost certain she had fallen off to sleep again or let her dreaded thoughts over run her but she hums his acknowledgement. "I-I...just...yesterday, with Eve, she-uh...i mean, i know it's not my place, but...her-um-"

She smiles despite herself as he trips over his words, eyes down cast as he scrubs the back of his neck. "Matt, spit it out." She chuckles as he huffs.

"Her- Her hand, what happened?" He asks bashfully, awaiting a swipe for his words.

But Alex moves away from him, sinking into the mattress as she squeezes her eyes closed. "She was born with it." She mutters out.

"A birth defect?" Intrigued not only by the topic but by her actions.

"Not quite."

"Genetics?"

She shakes her head, lips stuck in a thin line as her eyes mist over.

"Something that happened while you were pregnant?"

She looks up at him then, tears spilling over as her bottom lip wobbles.

It hits him square in the chest, his heart is pained but he tries to reach out to her yet she only shrinks away. The realization makes his whole body stop.

"Oh my god." He breathes, eyes deep set. "It was him."

She bites her lip, eyes spilling with tears as her body shakes violently with silent sobs. He gathers her close then, not standing another second without her. He cages his anger, no matter how furious the beast inside him is, Alex needs him.

"Does she know?" He asks finally, he just needs answer.

Alex shakes her head, a cry escaping her throat. Matt buries his head in her curls, embracing her firmly.

The soft beating of his heart steadies her emotions as his arms help her rebuild the wall she needs. She sniffles and cries softly in his arms for a moment longer but even after she's over he continues to hold her.

A small sound outside in the hall makes both the adults alert again, Matt is on his feet in moments as he slowly opens the door to relieve a little girl, clutching the same dinosaur he'd returned a few days prier, tears clouding her eyes.

"Hey sweetheart, your mum's in here." He nods back to the bed, opening the door a little wider to show Alex with her arms stretched. But despite all that Evie wraps herself around Matt's leg, sniffling into his pajamas. Matt falls to a gushy mess in seconds as he sweeps the small girl into his arms, resting her head against his shoulder as he hushes her, a hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. Her arms around his neck is almost cutting off his breathing but he doesn't complain, instead just like Alex, he holds her closer.

Walking back to the bed he finds Alex grinning a rather large motherly smile up at them as he lowers Evie into her mothers awaiting arms, curling back onto the bed next to them. He reaches a hand to stroke back the girls rusted curls.

"What brought this on, sweetie?" Alex asks, kissing her daughter forehead lightly.

Evie shrugs, giggling slightly as she wipes at her eyes.

Alex shakes her head with amusement but Matt bounces up, scrambling a dressing gown on and going to exit and leave the girls to some mother/daughter time when he hears Alex clear her throat.

"And where do you think you are going?" She asks, an eyebrow raised and a hand cocked on her hip.

"Uh- To to, make pancakes?"

Evie's eyes widen immediately as she races to Matt's side. "Can i help? Please?" She asks, eyes wide and pleading.

Matt crumbles before the 5 year old, holding put a hand to her. "Come along, Chef." He smiles down at her, the euphoric squeal she gives and the small hand slipping into his sends his heart gushing once more.

Alex can't help the gentle smile plastered across her face. The picture in front of her makes her stomach flutter, her daughter and the man she's coming to love so dearly. Her heart is on fire with emotion of shear love. This is what it feels like to have a family and it's never felt so sweet.

* * *

She'd found herself one of Matt's over-sized shirts to keep her warm as she ventures into the kitchen when she turns the corner she's nearly hit by a flying blob of what seems to be pancake mix. She starts back with a small squeak, hearing a chorus of laughter from the divisors. She turns with a playful glare, narrowing her eyes at the two.

"Sorry?" Matt offers, face grimace as he nudges the girl to stop laughing but it only makes her laugh more.

Alex huffs and goes to pull a seat out from the small table to sit on it.

"That was your fault." Matt grumbles to Evie.

The girl laughs, face painted a sweet pink. "Was not! You are the one saying you could flip pancakes!"

Matt opens his mouth to argue back but finds the girl is -unfortunately- right.

Alex rolls her eyes at the pair, why did she leave two children alone.

After another dose of arguing between Evie and Matt and another pancake stuck to the floor, pancakes are finally served and even though Alex jokes on how they might poison her, they actually taste pretty decent.

Evie smothers hers with chocolate sauce and it's hard to make out where the pancakes are, well as Matt does the same with maple syrup.

The afternoon follows in a similar fashion of playful fights, a few football matches, tickle fests and plenty of laughter.

It ends when a sleepy Evie gets tucked away for a nap. Usually she doesn't need one, she's old enough to stay awake but apparently Matt has worn her out and vice versa. Matt lies with his head in Alex's lap as her nails run through his hair. Falling into a tranquil coma of sheer Alex.

"Matt, i have to go back- you know that." She mumbles, fingers slowing in action.

He's awake with a start as he turns to look at her. "What?! Are you mad, woman?! You can't! More likely, i won't let you." He screams, heart racing as the anger rises once more.

"Matt-"

"No! No, Alex. Don't you dare." He growls, softening when he sees the tears already shining in her eyes. "I won't let you, sweetheart. I can't. I can't stand being here and knowing he's there laying a hand on you." He put his forehead to hers and sighed, cradling her face in his hands. "You are my everything, Alex."

She pressed her forehead to his shoulder, arms wrapping around his back as she nodded.

"You can stay here, 'Lex." He said, her sudden shock making his clamp a hand over her mouth. "Hear me out! Please?" He begged, she nodded slowly as he removed his hand. "You _could_ stay here. Even if it's not long term, just- you'd be safe here. If not for me then do it for Evie..."

Sudden rush of fear and protectiveness washed over at her, her heart clasped as her brain rushed to try and make sense of this whole situation. Staying here would offer them the protection they needed it would also save Alex a lot of hassle but- "Wouldn't we be invading your space, darling?"

"Not at all, you would never be invading."

Well that covered that.

"Okay.." She whispered.

"Okay? Really?! I-I, god you amazing woman." He grinned, kissing her fully, a clash of tongues and teeth as Matt tried his best to devour her. "I'll look after you, i promise. You won't regret it." He beamed.

"Shouldn't i be the one saying thank you to you?" She chuckled, pressing a sweet kiss to his nose.

He didn't answer, instead to caught up in the relief of having her.

As Evie woke up and lunch was served Alex was met with another hurdle. One she insisted needed to be done on her own. She needed some things from the house and calmed Matt with the simple statement that she knew Ralph would be at work and seeing him there was very unlikely. He seemed to be eased slightly, but not enough for the second she left he paced the floor of the lounge in a determined vigor. The thought of her going alone was unbearable but Alex had insisted, that woman he was sure had him wrapped around his little finger already.

 

Entering the house sent shivers down her spine immediately and her stomach drop as the door creaked open. The whole thing felt like she was entering a ghost house, desolate but filled with unwelcome spirits. She made quick work of the hall as she dove up stairs, finding her suitcase and quickly shoving clothes in, toothbrush, makeup, toys and small ornaments. Picture books were shoved into bags along with more dinosaur toys for Evie.

She finally let a breath out when she closed the case. But a small murmur came from downstairs. Heart and body frozen she stood like a rabbit caught in headlights. Slowly the noise got closer and closer and slowly Alex regained motion, clamping a hand over her mouth to keep any noise escaping she cursed inwardly before backing up, hitting her back against the closet made her jump with a squeak. The noise seemed deeper now, angry even as the footsteps that followed echoed without her. Biting her lip hard with tears streaming down her face the door opened, making her whimper and beg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is bumpy but hey ho- it's fiction :P
> 
> It's my birthday so i feel like i owe you a chapter<3
> 
> I was up till around 3 this morning writing this...oh lord.
> 
> Just remember that the 3rd of September is the best day;)
> 
> Happy reading, my lovelies<3


	9. Fireflies, loose tonight.

Then, there's silence. Her raging heartbeat the only sound to be heard and she's almost certain she's gone mad, her mind playing cruel tricks on her but then she hears her name. A low, hushed sound that slowly entices her from her ball, but before she has the faith to look up she's clambered in a hug- a hug that could put all bear hugs to shame. The sight she is met with next is something she thought she'd never see again.

Father and Daughter stand in the warm comfort of each other. Utterly enclosed to the rest of the world as Alex shifts herself to cling to him, feeling like the small girl once more. Honestly, she thought she'd never see her parents again. For after she married Ralph they had been so completely against the matter that they drew a line many years ago, only ever toeing over it to see their granddaughter. And oh, how she'd missed them. No matter how far she stuck her chin out in protest of the pair, she'd missed them. Her hands gripping at his shirt, the slow sobs of relief and her father's gentle kiss to her forehead, clear indication of that. "Oh my darling, Alex. What happened here..."

The soft rumble of his words are like a lullaby. Soft, reassuring and homely. Yet she couldn't reply, not yet anyway. Her brain is a mess of fuses, her heart a copy of that. All else in the world just seems to- fit now. All further worries dissipating into the array of light. 

Ever so gently, she raises her head, eyes slowly meeting her fathers. And never more has she seen one persons expression change so rapidly. An anger misting his eyes as he takes in the bruises and shameless cuts across her face. For Alex, the cuts were a normal sight, that thought made her stomach flip and settle sickly, but for her father stood in front of her this must have been the first time (and hopefully the last time) he had seen her like this. His eyes drop for a moment, as if he can't stand to look at her. Her heart drops ever so slightly, she feels like a teenager, the night she'd told him she had gone out to get drunk at 17 and he'd pitied her, shouted in fact. But her worries are soothed over by the sea of warmth that radiated from a hand placed on her shoulder. "Come on, i think it's time to get out of here. Get you home."

 

 

 

_Oh, but she already is there._

* * *

The drive on the way back to Matt's is a silent one. But to her that is all she really wanted. It's an old routine between the pair, a silent conversation that no matter how old the days get they will still be father and daughter, friends in their own right. Her cases are secured in the back seat, along with a large collection of dinosaur toys. And for the first time in a rather long time, Alex has the chance to breathe. Close her eyes and feel---secure? The feeling wasn't so easy to pin point to a single word. But it felt like she was finally free, like the cage around her had finally found a crack and she'd clambered through it, into the glimmering heats of the sun.

Moments later they pulled up to Matt's apartment flats, ignoring the harsh disapproving glare from her father she fluidly jumped out of the car. Seeing her daughter clung to Matt's neck, his chest heaving in obvious indication of his panic. The grin radiating from his face was enough to make her fall to a mess and honestly she almost did but the instinct to run into his arms was far larger. The second she hit the warmth of him she collapsed to wracking sobs, relief washing over her. And he held her. Secure in his arms. Safe.

It wasn't until a small palm came to the side of her face did she part her head from out of his neck, wiping at the tears on her cheeks she kissed her daughters palm, smiling softly at her.

"What happened, Mummy?" Evie asked, eyes wide in her innocent fear.

Alex chuckled, tucking wayward curls out of her daughters face. "I think i found our family.." She giggled, running a hand through her curls and meeting Matt's sickly sweet smile. He chuckled with her, kissing her forehead softly. It wasn't until the sound of someone clearing their throat made her finally part from the warmth, meeting her fathers judgmental eyes.

"Dad, this is-"

"So you are the lad looking after my daughter, eh?" He cut in, jaw set and eyes piercing. Matt looked over to Alex, eyes searching for some sort of help. She shrugged apologetically, mouthing 'sorry' and slowly prying her daughter from him. Matt finally looked back to the man, fear woven into his features before he nodded.

"Uhh...yes, Sir. At least-i'm um trying my best too." He mumbled, scratching his head nervously.

It took a moment for the man to react but as soon as he did a hand was stretched out towards him. "I can't thank you enough then." Matt couldn't quite believe his ears, he'd winced, expecting the harsh reality of a punch but the hand out stretched in front of him was a rather great relief. 

Matt chuckled, exhaling in relief he accepted the other mans hand, shaking it slowly and looking at Alex with a childish grin before he yelped, crushed into an unexpected hug. Matt could only smile wider, clapping the man on the back.

* * *

"Alex! We're going to be late, love." He yelled up the stairs. Why women took so bloody long, he shall never understand.

It had been 8 months since he'd found Alex battered and scarred outside his house, 4 months since the divorce and a month since they'd been dating. Matt had always classified them as dating but a fateful day when Alex had been to torn on Ralph marrying another woman so soon, he'd asked her out. A date. The fierce and stubborn dragon, soothed by the simple words of a princess. No, no that was rubbish- Queen? Hmmmm... _Lioness_. King of the jungle had now found the perfect Queen. A lioness, mane of curls, heart as fierce as any loin and hands soft and warming, pawing at this world, soothing all cracks that arose. In his dreamy state he did not hear her heels clack against the ground, nor the way her silk dress flurried on the ground but the press of warm lips on the back of his neck send a shudder down his spine that was hard to ignore.

Pirouetting on his heels to face her, he was met with a sight that would take any man's heart away. She was stunning. Gorgeous in a whole different league. Oh lord have mercy on his soul tonight.

"Cat got your tongue?" She chirped, smiling far to smugly for her own good.

Shaking his head slightly and exhaling with a shudder he grinned, winking at her. "Rather more, _you_ have my tongue."

She giggled, swatting at his shoulder as he pinched her arse, curling her in his arms as they sauntered to the door. "Oh, dammit. I didn't say goodnight, to Evie." She cursed, quickly shoving her bag and coat into Matt's now empty arms as she ran down the hall. Shaking his head in amusement he opened the door.

"Give her a kiss for me. I'll meet you in the car." He hollered down the hall, stepping out and into the dim light of the evening.

She joined him but 5 minutes later a blinding smile on her face as she fluidly hopped in the car. "Let's go." She grinned.

Matt had been ~~scared to death~~ worried at first of where they'd be going, but Alex had assured him that it was just one of those secluded 80's dance places, she hadn't been to in years. Minutes and hours went past- and no matter how much Alex told him that it had only been 45 minutes he still broke out in ' _Are we there yet_?'. It only earned him a rather knowing smack to the back of his head, making him laugh and kiss her gently on the cheek. The roll in her eyes only expanded his grin.

"Alex....Where are we?" He asked suddenly, eyes darting to her in white panic. "This is someones house."

Alex simply nodded, calmly parking the car and unbuckling her seat belt to face him. "Yes, it is." Her words were firm and before he knew it he was being left. Watching her walk up to the vast amount of roses lining the walk path before facing him, she tilt her head, cocking an eyebrow in unsaid conversation. Sighing and mumbling under his breath he grumbled around getting out of the car, slowly opening the door and trudging up to her. She ignored his childish actions, instead offering her arm to which he linked his own and they walked up to the door, Matt's face still a picture of panic.

"Where are we?" He growled.

"Shhhhh." She soothed knocking on the door in three swift movements.

It seemed to take forever until the sound of someone laughing pricked his ears. A woman?- a bustle behind the person following before slowly dissipating. He warily tangled his hand with hers, squeezing it softly in question. But the door opened before she even had the chance to take another breath.

The world seemed to stop.

Breathe suddenly caught.

Heart frozen.

**_No._ **

"Mum."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SO SO SORRY. THIS TOOK WAY TO LONG FOR ALMOST NOTHING. BUT NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE QUICKER AND LONGER. MY HEART IS IN IT AGAIN, GUYS. 
> 
> Thank you so much for sticking with this, i know the beginning was bumpy and just ughh..i just lost the will to be honest but now it's back and hopefully you can bare with me<3 I love you all so much, you are truly amazing.


	10. I was holding your hand.

They can't stop the bleeding.

 

The clock ticks faster than the blood flowing through her veins. 

 

The Doctor does his best to put on an impression that ' _everything will be okay_.'

* * *

 

It's supposed to hurt. Curled up on himself, Matt braces for impact. The words stick like a small 'kick me' sign, stuck to his back, worse than the knife that slices through his gut. 

 

"There's not a lot of time." 

 

                                    "Her heart."

                       

                                                  "Broken….Smashed…..Gone."

 

They can't stop the bleeding, the surgeons tried, they say. They say there's minutes to spare and those minutes are her last. In those last minutes, Matt finds himself lost in his absolute certainty. His sister always told him, told him that too many choices can destroy a man. So he runs, it's the only choice he has. It's what she did after all. And while he runs all he can hear is her voice echo and leave, echo and leave, growing ever more distant until he finds a place, where she longer speaks. The place he finds has corners so dark that it's clear the sun has never kissed it. It just so happens that the place he finds is clouded with silver packets, weathered in crimson red and singing from the neck of a bottle. 

He doesn't think of his sister, she's not there to rip him from this world. She's not there to wrap his flimsy arms around her in a hug. She's not there because she's not there at all. No memory, no value. He doesn't miss it. He doesn't miss the way her perfume used to stick to his clothes, he doesn't miss the way they couldn't stand each other, he doesn't miss how much they couldn't be apart either. He doesn't miss it. And it's easier to say he doesn't than to admit he does. They couldn't stop the bleeding when she died, but now, Matt can't stop his own bleeding. 

He's failing. Each day goes by and now the beat of his heart is just another way to tell the time. Time, it's the only thing he has to much of. 

Matt knows better than most that she gave up her youth and beauty for dirt and dust. She understood that family must be the foot you put forward first. 

_Family._

With his mother not two feet away he can't help but see her face once again. They had the same hair, his mother and her, they had the same stance. Defiant and regal. Confident, not sitting when standing was required. Closing his eye's for no longer than a blink he can hear her voice once again and _oh_ , it's like a simple lullaby. And she says ' ** _try_**..'. With one foot forward, Matt dives into his mother's arms. Those long years are all sewn to his skin like medals, showing his mother that truly, he's still Matt. But now, he's Mathew. 

"She's here…" 

The words come from behind him and bless his darling Alex, it's the words he has tangled within his heart. 

"She always has been." The statement is dated and cheesy and they all know it. But's dear god, it's the truth. 

Matt steps back first, only because he put the effort in and now, he has a paper heart strapped to his chest. It's a target. Everything he has is on show and he can't help but feel like a tree, decorated in his insecurity. An insecurity that Alex takes within her delicate palms, entwining their fingers and bringing his feet down to the ground. Turning his head, the corners of his eye's crinkle in a smile. He looks old. Alex notes. But that's because he is. This man is far older than he makes himself out to be. 

"Thank you." Matt murmurs, bringing the back of her hand to his mouth, pressing a rough kiss to the back of her hand. 

"You're welcome." Alex replies, squeezing his hand ever so gently, as if she can pass her own strength through her palm and into his. Noticing the slight shake in Matt's irregular heart beat, Alex places her other hand on the small of his back, guiding him into the grand house. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Laughs nervously* Umm...Long time no see? 
> 
>  
> 
> I know this is short and sticks out like a sore thumb but it's just a filler chapter. Hope you are all well :*

**Author's Note:**

> Have a gangster Matt.
> 
> Sorry for putting so many fictions out there, will try to rein myself in.
> 
> Comments are always loved<3


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